Friday, December 4, 2015

Burn it Down.....

     This post has been a long time in the making – Id’ say about a year.  It started when I first noticed my Afib – my running pace just gradually slowed, run away heart rates, puffing and panting; my running was unraveling, and I hated it.  Through medications, and an ablation, with each run I’d go out and compare my results to the Doctor of two years ago.  Two years ago 10 miles at 8:15 was “normal”, and not that tough – my heart issues changed all that.  And every run was a disappointment in comparison.  It wasn’t long before I introduced walking to my runs – and with every run-walk Id finish in disgust, and self-disappointment – the old Doctor was gone. 

     I’m sick of this.  About a month ago I had an epiphany – I’m leaving the old Doctor behind – the new Doctor run-walks when he needs to; and strangely, I can keep this up for quite some time – it seems to suit the ultra-approach anyway.  But my days of BQ’ing are over, I know that now – and now all my PR’s have started over.  Not every run is compared to a 3:24 marathon in my mind anymore.  And you know, they seem to be getting faster as my heart heals – and I appreciate it every time I make a “new” PR, instead of just being disappointed that I’m not the same as I used to be.

     So the clip below encompasses this perfectly – The Walking Dead has had so many powerful, symbolic scenes, and this is one of my favorites.  The unlikely pair, a religious country singer Beth, and the Bad Ass Daryl, seem to over a few episodes form an awkward friendship.  They come across an abandoned house, and spend time in it reflecting on the past.  Their dreams and how they wished they were back there – before the apocalypse – and what was “going to be”.  And then it becomes clear, much like me, that if they live in that past they’ll only destroy themselves, because it’s over, and not coming back.  Then a very wise Beth says, symbolically, and literally “Let’s burn it down”.  The burning of the house of course represents leaving old dreams behind and starting over, for them, and for me.  Notice how they start the fire with a wad of now useless money – and I’ll keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be able to run at all….

I do feel sorry for anyone that doesn’t follow TWD – it’s not just about zombies!

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