"But that was when I Ruled the World...."

So I have fun telling the Trail Slammer that every time I sit down to write a blog entry, I think of a really good running story, type away, then look down at the screen only to find yet another Katy Perry entry, complete with Video!  And I suppose it's true, but this time I'll try to keep it running related - a bit deep really.  Put this one in the "how running changed my life" file, because the fact is that this incident I must admit had a very large impact on my personality from the time it happened, until this day.

I often tell people that I "lost any last sense of pride at mile 55 in Vermont".  Whether its at work when I may be wrong on a viewpoint, and really don't hesitate to admit it.  Or during one of my endless arguments with the Trail Slammer.  Or just in general,  I think somewhere along the line I lost a lot of my ego - and I'm telling you, this is how it happened...

To tell the story you need to understand the circumstances, and the time-frame.  The year was 2008, and the Doctor was running well.  Very well.  In fact, that was the year I qualified for Boston.  It was the year I ran my First 50K, and then very egotistically told people that "50K really shouldn't count as an Ultra, because you have 'license' to walk, but it's hardly even longer than a marathon!"  After running a very strong very first 50K, I went on to run an even stronger first 50 Mile, and couldn't help but ask "what the big deal was?"  I ran a lot, I ran hard, and I nearly always took an age group award, and I didn't even use the Trail Slammers strategy of only signing up for runs that under 20 people participated in!  (Ouch!) 

I was the man, and I was on fire.  The term "dehydration" was one that I guess other people dealt with, not me.  And the three little letters, "DNF" - well, I had heard that people do that quite allot, especially during longer distances, but frankly, I was far above it.  I was much like a kid; I viewed myself as indestructible!

OK, that sets the scene for you - so of course I decided to sign up for the Vermont 100.  An easy course by 100 mile standards really; I kind of planned it out, kind of not - just me and my inflated ego, and I would laugh at the course right from the beginning.  And we started.

The weather was predicted to be in the mid 90's - the hottest year yet.  "Interesting" I thought, but paid little attention - and I took off like a rocket in the cool, early morning summer air.  As the morning went by, I ticked off mile after mile, forcing myself to walk up hills, just running up others, while "sorry saps" walked up them - and it worked, by mid day I hit 50 miles - and I should have known the problem coming right then; I had a 50 mile PR!  "Hell, this is a joke!" I remember thinking that, I do....  Of course what I didn't know at the time was that my nutrition plan (if it was a plan at all) was slowly but surely crumbling.  As the temperature went up, I drank less and less, and in my under-experienced mind, this was a great thing - "apparently I don't really even need that much water!"  Never mind that swallowing S caps was becoming surprisingly difficult as my throat seemed to be swelling a bit.  Never mind that I was starting to stop sweating.  After all, I was told I was in the top 10% of the field at 50 miles - seriously?  This is a "major" national event, and at the half way point, I'm up with the big shots?  Come on....

OK, so by now you're beginning not to like the Doctor I'm describing, and frankly in hindsight I'm a bit ashamed myself (in fact quite a bit).  But fear not, the doctors "comeuppance" is close at hand.

Shortly after mile 50, I recall feeling a "bit" nauseated.  And I also noticed my pace slowing a bit.  Headache.  Dizzy. "Hmm", I thought, "Ill just 'run through it' as I usually do - what could possibly be the big deal?"  From here on it goes pretty quick - at this point I've not seen another runner for quite a while - I'm by myself on a dusty, dry dirt road in the late afternoon heat, and guess what?  For the very first time in my running career, for some reason, I'm on the side of the road throwing up!  I was completely shocked by this.  I was confused.  "Would this hurt my run?" I asked myself.  Back on the road, I trudged on, running away, until, well, here it comes again, and this time not only am I throwing up, but I'm hiding in the woods loosing fluids from the other end, and you know what I mean. 

Now at this point, the symptoms are bad, but the way I feel is worse.  I'm now having dry heaves, that cause incredible stomach pain.  I tell myself that if I'm really dehydrated, then my body knows best what to do.  Right?  Right?  Haven't you always heard that?  OK, Doctor lesson for you - that old wives tale is total BS - Tell me why if I'm running fluid-less that my body decided to blow what little fluid I have out every possible crevice?  So then in the span of about 10 minutes, a major storm front comes across the sky, and my world is submerged in water!  A total downpour - my "discomfort" is now compounded 10 fold.  And here the nausea comes again, but this time I'm barely off the side of the road, on all four, barfing up nothing while I'm battling off the next burst of diarrhea.  I soon notice I apparently decided to lay down in a drainage ditch, and here comes a wall of water at me; I'm now up to my butt and elbows in flowing water, rain pounding down on my back, and loosing it out of both ends.

Folks, this was a monumental moment for me.  At this point I was physically, and more  importantly mentally broken.  I recall looking up into the rain and asking God how he could possibly do this to me!  I was suffering beyond belief, and wondered if I would ever see home again.  After all, it was me.   ME!!!!!  Yes, this was the moment that I left my pride.  My ego.  My obnoxiousness out on that road.  I was beaten and broken, and I could barely stand up.  I would have dropped, but frankly I hadn't seen another runner in at least a half hour, and I was nowhere near an aide station.  All I could do was clean myself up, and try to walk, which I did.

In the coming hours I met my now friend Tracy, who I spent most of the rest of the run with, and the weather cleared, and my health improved, although only slightly.  Yes, I made it, because fortunately I had so much time "in the bank" I could afford the coming downward spiral.   But when I crossed that finish line, I knew.  People clapped as if I did something great, but they had no idea what I knew.  How defeated I was, and how different a person I had become from the one that started nearly 30 hours earlier.  I admit I cried like a baby crossing that line, for many, many reasons....

So yes, I lost most sense of pride and ego at Vermont in 2008, mile 55; and I mean that.  This  was a nearly religious, and truly life impacting moment for me.  Yes, running changed my life, and I am a far better person for it now.....

"But you, Pay the Bill, cause, That's the Deal!"

So why is this song FIRMLY stuck in my head?  Well, after multiple shows of watching the Trail Slammers daughter in a cast role, and my son, the Hockey Slammer after having had a large part in building the set, manning the ropes to pull scenery and curtains up and down (Fly Rail), well, this song just stuck; its a happy play, and sure Travolta did all right, but I'd prefer HANK any day!  And that's all I got to say about that....

So its been a good running winter, no doubt about that.  I've been rampin' up my long run Saturdays, and exclusively they have been at the park, and walking up all hills.  Started at 12 miles, upping 2 miles a week, but quickly realized that at this rate I wouldn't even be ready for a 5K by Christmas, so I moved to my "Marathon every Saturday" approach - which I hadn't even started last year until mid summer.  So yesterday was my second, and I'd set out to keep my average pace (including all walking) to under 10:45 - but nope, I ended at 11:10, which was very disappointing.  Weekly mileage has only been at about 50, so that's disappointing too, and this morning (Sunday) I went to the park and decided to do a run (no walks) and target 9:15-9:30, and came in after 7 miles at 9:45.  Arg.  Of course I had just run 26.3 yesterday, and frankly these back to back runs make for a very, well, interesting first mile!

Other than that though my focus is on a 50 mile run that kicks my but every year, late May in Gnaw Bone Indiana.  This year I plan to be ready though, and all in all my training is probably a month ahead of normal, so that's good, I guess.  Shortly afterword is Kettle Moraine 100, the First of the Trail Slammers big show's, and I'll definitely be ready for that - although only one week before I'll be running the Bayshore full, which I intend to jog and walk - I guarantee a time no better than 4 hours for that one - I'm rigging the Garmin to give me an electric shock if my pace is any quicker.

So as usual, after a disappointing run of efforts, I turn on the I pod and look for guidance.  Kate comes on, and here it is; fellow ultrer's understand this completely:

Learning to Forgive

I think that most people would agree, that a sure sign of maturity...  no, not maturity, maybe integrity..  well, maybe, well at least a sign of a "big person" is the ability to forgive.  Forgiveness I guess is when you realize you've been done a wrong.  Maybe you've been hurt, or even scared.  But you still are willing to say, "you know, I'm going to let this go - I'm moving on". 

Yes, forgiveness - and I think it's time for me to forgive.  It's been a number of years, and my pain still runs deep.  I feel it every day in fact - usually I keep this to myself, only sharing with the people closest to me as they help me cope.  Sometimes I can go for hours without thinking about it, but other times I'll hide in a room by myself and, well, cry.  But I do think its time to simply let it go.  Maybe simply to say" it's over, it's past, just move on".

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about at this point - Disco.

A dark era in American music - mid to late 70's, and I still feel the pain every day.  When I close my eyes, I can still see the Bee Gee's singing "Saturday Night Fever" while tight dressed, hairy chested tight panted guys with way too many necklaces "danced" around to that noise.  And I can still see "Rod the Bod" Stewart asking "Do ya think I'm sexy", and it brings pain to my heart.  Man, this hurts to write..

As you can imagine, I was a card carrying D.R.E.A.D member

Detroit Rockers Engaged in the Abolition of Disco

 - but I guess it just had to run its course.  I guess.

Well, As I was running on one of my weekend "long runs" (a sad 8 on Saturday, and barely even 10 on Sunday), I realized that it was time to Forgive, and specifically, I think I need to forgive Rod Stewart.  Ok, ok, I know it's hard, and I'll attach a sorry video of him below, but you know, check out the second, it really is a pretty good song.  Right?  RIGHT??? 

So help me forgive, and lets put this all behind us.  I'm sorry about it, and I know you are too.  But you know, I was very young at the time, and really it was too bad for Rod as rumors spread about Doctors pumping a pint of a certain fluid out of his stomach (I'm not saying I helped spread that rumor, and I'm not saying I didn't).  Be strong my friends...   Be strong....

It's a Song that I Sing, Beacuse I Have to...

So I've been meaning to put this story into words for about a year now, and decided I'd better do it before it's gone.  It was a typical day at work, and a friend of mine (who actually paced me for a loop at the local 100), was standing around with a new young intern girl named (of course) Jennifer.  Now Jennifer was definitely "all that", but unfortunately (or fortunately), I'm finally at the age where I find "all that" to be interesting, but not so much so as I used to - in fact if anything I feel more fatherly and protective these days over young girls; I swear I could never be able to handle a daughter - as I said, she wouldn't date until she was 30!

Anyway, my friend and her were talking about, you guessed it, running.  Seems that Jennifer was going to run her first 10K, and she was pumped beyond belief!  It always makes me smile to see the excitement in someone's eyes who is really thrilled about that next run; the run that stretches their limits.  Anyway, of course my friend spills the beans on the ultra running, and right away I get the big, doe eyes -"Oh, wow, 50 miles?  100 miles?"  And I do what I always do, I try to talk to her about her upcoming 10K and how cool that is. 

After she walked away, my friend gives me the "are you nuts" lecture - "You know, if you would have told her to jump off a bridge, she would have - all she wanted to do was talk about Ultra running, and all you would do is talk about her 10K, and maybe someday doing a half - are you nuts??"

Well, maybe I am, and as I've said before, I do think that the mentality of a long term Ultra runner is somewhat compulsive, somewhat obsessive, and definitely masochistic - no, I wasn't going to blow smoke about this; I really just thought that running for "health", fun, and the challenge of a goal was awesome, and why not just let her live that?  But no, I had no intention of fueling dreams of this insanity! 

So I've posted this song before, but it is definitely in my list of top 5 over the past three years, and a GREAT running song - AND, it completely applies to this situation...  I first heard this in a coffee shop on a Sunday morning - I truly wish it would get some air time; it's an awesome song...

Could vs. Should

Funny how in running these two words show up so often.  Outside of running, I know I COULD take a stapler home from work, but I know I shouldn't.  I know I COULD surprise the Librarian by vacuuming the entire house unexpectedly, but I know I WON'T.  Heck, I know I SHOULD paint the kid's bathroom, as apparently my clever fish theme became a bit, well, young for them when they hit their mid teens - but I probably WON'T do that either (unless the Librarian reads this entry).  And you know, I knew I COULD run that stupid 50K with the Trail Slammer, but I also knew I SHOULDN'T!

So, he did it again, forcing me to run an informal 50K (Actually 32.4 miles, not the requisite 31, but hey, who's counting?) with some friends of his.  It had snowed the night before leaving a nice 2-3" on the ground, and the "trails" were at best packed down snow, at worst, well, indistinguishable.  But really it wasn't that bad - a great group of guys, and we were VERY slow on the average; I really enjoyed the time with the Trail Slammer, who I hadn't seen much of over the winter.

But MAN, am I paying for it!  I haven't run past 16 miles since the Detroit Marathon in October, and actually my long run since then was only, well, 16....  ONCE!  I've been trying to run fast and short, building up, so 50K on trails (complete with BRUTAL hills), was a system shocker.  As I write this it's been only 3 days, and my quads still hurt like I just ran my first marathon - I've reinvented walking sideways down stairs!  And to make matters worse, I took some crap from the TS about my florescent, "look at me" yellow jacket - he seemed to be pondering how to include that in his next Podcast, so my only hope with this is that since he seems to go three months between entries, he'll forget!

And by the way, check out Kate with ELMO!  (Couldn't be all about running you know, she would look good with Kermit the Frog!)

   

Hmmm.....

So I thought about what to write this post about.  Training?  Yea, going ok - great "winter", running hard.  Right now here is my mood - this one approaches perfection....  Ok, so the truth?  Ran 5 hard tonight because that's all I had time for - drove the Hockey Slammer to the library for German tutoring, and sat down, planning to continue dissertation chapter II Lit Review.  Problem is I did just that at lunch today and am burned out - So spending my entire time screwing around with things like Blogs!  But the run was great!  Haven't ran with the Trail Slammer in at least a month, and my mileage is barely 40 a week - I don't even think he runs any more!

Early June....  Early June......

 Ok, I get this all the time from the Trail Slammer - "Doctor, how did you know that Kate would turn out so AWESOME, just like you said she would???"  Well, here's one that you won't hear on the radio, but off one of her early albums.  She writes this stuff herself - the potential was always there, you just had to listen...
 Maybe I should stop wallowing in my Victory........   NOT!

Oh, and it's not really important who WINS Sunday, just as long as New England LOOSES!!!!  Really sick of that pretty boy Brady.....  !

Now THAT would be EMBARRASSING!

Somehow when I ran the Detroit marathon, something bad happened.  My best guess is that while I was in pretty decent cardio shape, my leg muscles were way more trained for the painfully slow pace of ultras, and I simply went out faster than my legs wanted; the result, a hamstring problem.

It happened at about mile 6; didn't knock me out, but I did spend the rest of my sad event jogging and walking, and the back of my left leg, especially down toward the back of my knee really hurt!  In fact, the problem seems to be back.  I'm still getting out, but very bad runs, no more than 7 miles, including a GREAT deal of walking, and average paces approaching 10 minutes.  I'll admit though, the constant walking breaks really have made the runs enjoyable!  I've enjoyed the outside air, and in general it has been reminding me why I like to get out.  I am still however pushing it; the TS's event is lurking just around the corner, and I plan to be ready...

But as embarrassing as this has been, I'm more concerned not that someone has seen me, but rather they have heard the song I've been listening too on the I-Pod  - allot!  So I know what you're thinking, and I'll just say it; this song is NOT country!  Seriously, I hate Country music, so this cannot be country!  So if you happen to pass me and hear the song I've put on constant replay, I assure you this is not Country, but rather simply a nice tune, with a good singer.  After all, the song is happy, and never complains about anything, unlike country, and further there is an actual Melody too it, unlike most twangy, pig-kissing country music.  Seriously, I don't think it's POSSIBLE not to like this song!

No, it's not country, THAT would be EMBARRASSING!

So You're Tellin' Me There's a Chance!

For me the Blog is a funny thing; one minute I'm interested, the next I'm not.  Actually, the last 4 months have been incredibly busy for me, mostly working around procuring, and starting a new job.  So I started to peel off things that were not really "needed" demands of my time, and the Blog went.  But I admit I missed it a bit...

I saw a shirt at a recent event on the back of a runner; it said "I run so I can Blog about it"!  Sometimes I wonder really the purpose of blogging at all; is it for "attention"?  To practice your writing?  Well, for me its a bit of a "release", so that's why the entries don't necessarily stay on one topic, any more than in my head I stay on one topic, but the long and short is I think its time to start writing a bit again.  Ok, so runs?  The quick "Run Down".

Actually 2011 ended a bit better then 2010 did, with no long term injury (as I had in 2010 that cost me an entire winter of running, leaving me in sorry shape for the Spring of 2011).  But not this time; all is good.

1) 2011 Local 100 was plagued with rain, and for some unknown reason I quit at 100K.  Actually the 100K and 100 Mile people started together, and the pretense was that you could drop to the 100K and not DNF - even pick up a metal.  So I did that in the pouring rain.  No excuse really, I could have kept going, but just lacked motivation (note title of my Blog; I told you!)

2) Local 50 Mile - Actually ran pretty well really, a very even pace.  Not a PR, but a good day.

3) Detroit Marathon.  Came out hard (7:45 or so) and at 6 miles in had a hamstring pull.  I thought I was out of it, but limped, jogged, walked the remaining 20 for a rather sad finish of 4 hours, but still pulled it off.  Hamstring is still there a bit, not sure what's up with that.

4) Detroit Turkey Trot 10K - Allot of fun!  Total log jam, lined up way too far back, and had a horrible time, but a great time!

So I'm signed up for the Trail Slammers Mid-Slam-Grand-Something-Something-Run-Walk-Race-Something Thing.  Actually this I'm hoping to be a motivator; I plan to race a lot in 2012 to train; that works well for me.  Already signed up for a few marathons as training runs, but the short of it is I think I'm doomed....

1) Kettle Moraine - ran this before and dropped at 50 miles or so.  Had been a blistering hot day, and then became a torrential downpour.  I believe only 4 people finished the full 100 that year.  My chance of finishing, 1:20.

2) Mohican's - it will be way hot, I'll shrivel up.  1:40

3) Burning River - Even hotter.  1:60

4) Hallucination - That one is pretty easy, usually cool out.  1:20

So, my overall chance of finishing this is about 1 in 4,000 I think, which really are better odds then usual!

So Jim just asked Mary "What the chances are of 'a girl like him ending up with a guy like her...'".

"So your telling me there's a chance!"

Hydration Blue's

Ok, well this may be a boring one for you folks looking for something other than a “Gear” related topic, but here it comes anyway – the topic is….Hydration.  So if you’ve read any of my entries, you’ll know that I sweat – allot!  And of course dehydration has cost me a number of races to date.  That said, I think I’ll talk a bit (maybe to myself) about hydration.

So last week I tried the “Test” that you read about in Runners World, right next to the part where it tells you to drag yourself along by imagining an invisible “rope” between yourself and the person in front of you.  It was a very hot day, and I weighed myself before I headed out, drank no water at all, and did 8 easy miles on trails, and came back and weighed myself.  6 Pound drop, or about 6*16/1.5 = 64oz/hr.  See the problem?  A human, best I can tell, cannot drink at that rate.  In fact in Indiana I did try drinking one 24 oz bottle per half hour – so roughly 48 oz per hour – no dice, I was sick before long.  Further, I really hate carrying a bottle – maybe this sounds strange, but I feel it makes me “off balance” and stops me from staying in my usual “rhythm”.

So all that said, I pulled out my Nathan (24 I think) back pack with bladder.  I had used this a Leadville and a few other races, and really did like it.  I’m not thrilled with the leaking mouth piece though, but I’ve used it for my last few runs and found it very comfortable; that said, I plan to keep using it up to the “Local 100” coming early September.

My plan is to target no more than 32-34 oz / hour, which brings up another problem – with a backpack, it’s hard to know how much you drank.  Ok, so I plan to purchase this:

http://www.camelbak.com/Sports-Recreation/Accessories/Flowmeter.aspx

Thing is, it’s a CamelBak product, and I don’t think it will work with the Nathan hose, so I may just replace the bladder with a 70 Oz CB, but with a little luck this will keep me on track, at least the best I can.  If the run is cool, I’ll do well (or at least I may do well), if not, I won’t.  Kind of cool , the run starts at 4:00 PM on a Friday, so I’ll have nighttime to get quite a chunk of it – last year I DNF’d (at night) because I hurt my hip at barely 25 in – I literally limped pathetically for a mile to an aide station to get a ride, and didn’t run most of last winter.  Anyway, with a little luck, and maybe even rain, you never know!  Anyway, this is a pretty significant change for me, but I think I’ll go the backpack rout, with both hands free….   Two S caps per hour.  Gatorade as the liquid.  One Ensure every 16 miles, maybe every 8.  Snacks.  There, that’s my secret plan!

It's a SIGN!

Well, probably best to write an entry that has something to do with running at some point.  As I’ve been saying, I still have a dream.  An idea.  A belief.  Simply put, my belief is that I’m still a decent runner, I’m well trained, and when this 2 month heat wave breaks and I can run in at least semi cool weather, I’ll be back to running as I know I can.  But I have to tell you, this has been hard to hold onto.  For a stretch I had a number of very good weeks, however the last two weeks of long runs have been total busts!  A night run with the Trail Slammer and a group of people did not get me the 31 I wanted, followed by another night run (Trail Slammer again) where I pretty much dragged down the little guy because apparently I could only run for 14 miles.  But you go through these things, and my latest goal of 300 August miles, and wiping the Trail Slammer in overall distance is driving me a bit – and then I had a stomach bug!  It goes from bad to worse…

But yesterday something happened.  Something beautiful, as if a message.  The big thing is that the stomach bug FINALLY seems to have gone away (unfortunately though I think the Librarian has it!)  Well, get this, yesterday evening it rained – hard!  And then the temperature DROPPED to about 70!  Perfect timing, as I went out for my 8 mile Trail run, because I was reminded what I can do if the temperature drops!  For 8 miles I darted through the woods with only an occasion stop for water – keeping a very good sub 9 pace, and very little effort.  I felt light, great spirits, and my form even looked a bit like the Trail Slammers!  (Ok, I rib him enough; I’ll admit that he has pretty decent running form, and I often try to emulate it). 

In a way it reinforced to me that if the weather is cool, I really can run – we’ll see, but I guess that confirms the “Local 100” is on for me.  I do need to get my long runs back to 31 in the next few weeks, but  my weight is down, mileage up, no injuries at all (knock on wood), and no excuses left!